Mar 21, 2024
irli finally climbed to the top of the mountain that i’ve laid eyes upon, it’s hard to breath. there’s a mysterious lavender scent that keeps my breath steady, but there’s no flowers here. where is it coming from? i feel like i can climb higher but there’s nothing ahead or above me other than the night sky and some comfortable clouds. this is where i am mentally after recovering from the shutdown of two energizing vietnamese ice coffees, while my physical self is trapped in a room cluttered by exhaustion. there was something about these drinks that changed my future in ways that i can’t imagine, the actions, and their outcomes.
i cant help but to write myself a love letter that i’m leaving you. it’s not you it’s me. i’ll probably never see you other than in the form of words that memories can’t capture. the future is unknown but i know it’s somewhere you’d always wished to be. i want to go there too but that means takings steps where there are none, and that scares you. so i must leave you, is est over fur uns. all of these love songs having different meanings now, is est fur mich?
tonight i lay the pen down and i’ll be figuring out how to go higher. i want to go where the smell of lavender originates, i want to go into the unknown and map out its every inch, i want to know if it’s really the air pressure making it hard to breath or if it’s just an untapped soul. if so, what would a tapped in soul feel like? the only way to figure out any of this is to try and explore.
is there an invisible stair case? maybe there’s a trigger volume here that teleports me up and i just gotta keep walking aimlessly to activate it. i’ll probably find something as the clouds clears while i wander through them as they engulf this mountain peak every so often. i don’t know, but thinking of possibilities makes me so excited! i bet it’s something that i never thought of. i’ll be kinda pissed if it’s just something that i’ve had in front of me this whole time. hopefully it’s something cool.